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The Ever-Present Volition

Not for the first time do I feel the soft, hushed breath of the Lamb caressing my cheek. I hear the quiet assurance His presence imparts. And not for the first time am I startled by the realization that I have no need to call on Jesus, when He is already with me. I am surprised by the voice of God, telling me to tear down the veil of separation I place between us. I relegate my time spent with God to moments of quiet and captured wisps of trailing into sleep mumbling holy words as an afterthought. I have determined that every-day life, hustle and bustle is not for God, that is not His place. And his reminder is swift yet kind – He is ever present. There is no need for waiting; waiting for prayers. He longs for conversation, to sate me at every turn, to hold my head up when the wrath of the world weighs it down. And never for one moment do I have to turn away, do I have to close my eyes, do I have to search Him out. I do not have to wait, nor exercise patience. I can merely say “now” and he will deliver me up from my troubles and grant me peace when my own begins to falter. When the surety I have in myself stumbles, His soothing balm will lay its hands across my heart. The stirring of ingratitude may raise its head in reproach, but God’s voice stills it and I know strength once more. Strength that need never desert me, if in my most quiet moments I feel the beginnings of doubt, I would grow callous to their bitter reprimands if only I allowed that simple companionship to blossom.
I will bend to God’s will, but only when my own has been tried and failed. I must learn to set aside and begin from the outset with wisdom not born of this world and not engineered by faulty human hands. How can I begin to understand the worth of things I cannot measure? Boundless is God, and boundless is His kingdom. Boundless is His love for me, and boundless is His presence. He has never left, despite the number of times I have departed from Him. He has ever quietly nudged me and reminded me of who I am. His volition has rendered me prostrate, but ever do I rise again. Ever do I wait upon His glory and His mercy. Ever will I hunch over as His rain pounds down upon me, flooding me with His goodness, His cleansing, and His renewal. The cooling waters that shower me bring new growth, and the old sloughs off like a dead skin.

Published in Prose


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